you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
