White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.