brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.