At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.