I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
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She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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