in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
