David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
