She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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