there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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