i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Reggie can tackle my bush.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
