I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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