So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
