He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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