Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
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