Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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