In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
