I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
