Is it normal to miss your booty call?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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