You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
