I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize