oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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