so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
