you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
