He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
