Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
