you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
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I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
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I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
All the doctor said was why
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
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