so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
