Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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