I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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