I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
