I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
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He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
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You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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