Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
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