FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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