You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
