Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
