I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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