is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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