she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
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