I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
My vagina is very pro this idea
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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