well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
my liver is dry heaving
I'm too high and old for this...
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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