apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
