I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
