His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Randomize
