The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
