Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
So apparently I’m into choking now
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
