alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
