We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.