Texts From Last Night

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  (845): View more from New York

  im poppin the ladies like they're bacne

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  (845): im poppin the ladies like they're bacne http://tfl.nu/xag8
  Replies (24) Good night (744) Bad night (3962)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.

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  (248): Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks. http://tfl.nu/vf46
  Replies (89) Good night (1364) Bad night (22400)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.

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  (717): Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie. http://tfl.nu/dgs6
  Replies (28) Good night (5037) Bad night (1096)
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  (714): View more from California

  He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher

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  (714): He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher http://tfl.nu/npc9
  Replies (21) Good night (1100) Bad night (6452)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.

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  (715): We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay. http://tfl.nu/aupb
  Replies (16) Good night (4819) Bad night (1217)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.

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  (615): They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this. http://tfl.nu/rcac
  Replies (25) Good night (1631) Bad night (5664)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.

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  (901): I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony. http://tfl.nu/6cs5
  Replies (8) Good night (2832) Bad night (977)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."

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  (248): Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting." http://tfl.nu/6v74
  Replies (6) Good night (4553) Bad night (1350)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"

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  (847): I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies" http://tfl.nu/cpcz
  Replies (7) Good night (2997) Bad night (1011)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup

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  (219): This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup http://tfl.nu/la72
  Replies (14) Good night (770) Bad night (573)
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  (575): View more from New Mexico

  Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place

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  (575): Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place http://tfl.nu/vq1o
  Replies (10) Good night (367) Bad night (925)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  "I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."

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  (219): "I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance." http://tfl.nu/fhmo
  Replies (6) Good night (702) Bad night (291)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.

  (309): View more from Illinois

  May the force be with you.

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  (847): bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died. (309): May the force be with you. http://tfl.nu/776r
  Replies (4) Good night (992) Bad night (263)
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  (213): View more from California

  Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.

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  (213): Much like Dre, I was forgotten about. http://tfl.nu/kq3a
  Replies (1) Good night (437) Bad night (206)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"

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  (613): Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!" http://tfl.nu/otim
  Replies (2) Good night (376) Bad night (159)

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