Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Did you just throw up mid-sentence?

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(202): Did you just throw up mid-sentence? http://tfl.nu/vo8s

Replies (2) Good night (1104) Bad night (774)
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(518): View more from New York

it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in

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(518): it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in http://tfl.nu/7n77

Replies (31) Good night (4688) Bad night (791)
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(970): View more from Colorado

We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.

(1-970): View more from Colorado

you better fuck at least one or both of them.

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(970): We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes. (1-970): you better fuck at least one or both of them. http://tfl.nu/eeo0

Replies (12) Good night (5191) Bad night (937)
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(336): View more from North Carolina

just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...

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(336): just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ... http://tfl.nu/0ptt

Replies (18) Good night (1033) Bad night (2768)
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(618): View more from Illinois

Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.

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(618): Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout. http://tfl.nu/q2nt

Replies (42) Good night (9592) Bad night (1520)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.

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(610): She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling. http://tfl.nu/koe0

Replies (8) Good night (969) Bad night (2476)
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(330): View more from Ohio

After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.

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(330): After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator. http://tfl.nu/loee

Replies (5) Good night (1762) Bad night (712)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.

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(203): nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles. http://tfl.nu/y6oh

Replies (14) Good night (2848) Bad night (1065)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."

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(405): Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin." http://tfl.nu/pbfg

Replies (1) Good night (785) Bad night (562)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand

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(603): I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand http://tfl.nu/gtek

Replies (8) Good night (2264) Bad night (530)
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(718): View more from New York

It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.

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(718): It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail. http://tfl.nu/rl3q

Replies (4) Good night (926) Bad night (485)
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(712): View more from Iowa

Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?

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(712): Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow? http://tfl.nu/ikca

Replies (2) Good night (899) Bad night (683)
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(562): View more from California

Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?

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(562): Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream? http://tfl.nu/nras

Replies (1) Good night (792) Bad night (323)
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(501): View more from Arkansas

I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.

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(501): I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool. http://tfl.nu/8mq5

Replies (6) Good night (355) Bad night (613)
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(905): View more from Ontario

It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.

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(905): It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito. http://tfl.nu/gsyt

Replies (1) Good night (286) Bad night (127)

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