I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize