??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
