one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
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