I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
