Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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