Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
