he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
