Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
