I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
