Define "chronic" masturbator.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I want a musical about memes.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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