Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
