i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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