this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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